Christmas Movie Conspiracy
by Melchy
Summary: Lee has a great plan for avoiding all the Christmas movies Amanda has planned for him to watch. Will it work?


The characters from Scarecrow and Mrs. King belong to Warner Bros and Shoot The Moon Productions. The rest are mine. I make no money off of this story just a lot of enjoyment.

Thanks to the girls at Wicky for their encouragement, to Cheryl for suggesting the challenge and to my sister for letting me use her plot.

Amanda was determined that Lee would have a normal Christmas this year.  
This would be their first Christmas as a normal married couple and while he was  
getting better about some things, he still was too uptight when it came to  
items concerning the season.

He had actually seemed to enjoy shopping this year, especially after Amanda  
had given him two pointers--make a list of everything before you go and do  
your shopping early. It was a week before the actual day and he had everything  
bought and wrapped.

Next on her list were Christmas movies. She was determined to shows him the  
joys and delights of some of the best holidays stories in the world. It had  
been quite a search but she finally had all the "important" ones on VHS and  
she knew for a fact that _How the Grinch Stole Christmas _was on tonight at  
8:00 and she was ready. Today would be movie day and he would enjoy it, or  
else!

"Good morning glory." he kissed her as he sat down at the kitchen table  
beside her. "What's on the agenda for today?"

"Well the boys are with their other grandmother. " she ticked off on her  
finger, and mother has ordered me not to come near the house as she's in  
consolation with Santa Clause and so I thought that maybe you and I could spend some  
quality time together."

"That sounds good. What did you have in mind and does it involve me that  
huge claw foot bathtub and a bottle of lemon oil?" he winked.

"Well, maybe later. " she laughed. "But I was thinking that this would be a  
perfect day to break in the living room couch. Now that we have this  
wonderful new house and that awfully cozy sofa, we should do something to make us  
feel at home."

"Well, I wouldn't put want the lemon oil to get on the leather." he began  
but she shook her head, shutting him up with a kiss.

"I'm talking about us spending the day watching Christmas movies. You  
yourself said, you haven't seen most of them and I have collected quite an  
impressive assortment if I do say so myself. So, what would you like to start  
with-_It's a Wonderful Life _or _White Christmas_?"

"Um, you know Amanda." he felt the words tumble out of his mouth, not being  
able to stop them. "I just remembered that I'm supposed to go Birchwood this  
morning. I can't disappoint Rupert and Glynis and the gang. They would be so  
disappointed." He looked at his watch and shook his head. "Look at the time.  
I should have left 20 minutes ago."

"You just remembered now, this minute that you are supposed to be at  
Birchwood today?" she looked at him straight in the eyes, her gaze so intense it was  
only his agent training that kept him from looking elsewhere.

"Yes." he nodded. "I'm really sorry Amanda, and I'll make it up to you but I  
really, really need to get going. So let's say goodbye Amanda."

"Good-bye Amanda." she sighed. "When will you be back do you think?"

"Oh, I can't really put a limit on it."

"While you're out could you stop by Francine's and drop this recipe off for  
her and oh yes Mother has some presents she wants us to go ahead and bring  
here. And you might as well, drop this box off at Billy's"

"All right." he sighed. "I could do that. I need to stop by the office  
too." he added.

"See you when you get back." she waved.

"That was almost too easy." he thought as he headed towards his Corvette.

Amanda stood in the doorway, watching as he drove away, then quickly made  
her way to the phone and picked up the receiver.

Lee loved coming to Birchwood, even more so now that he had a family. He  
liked to think of after many more years of him and Amanda settling into one of  
the cozy bungalows, spending their last years in each other's company and  
with those that had experienced many of the same things they had.

He headed for the community room, knowing that most of the residents would  
be there for their weekly exercise class. Opening the door, Glynis spotted  
him first and made a beeline to his side."It's so good to see you, Lee." she  
patted his hand like he was a child. "We were hoping you would stop by today."

Lois came over, grabbing his other hand, the two women pulling him into the  
room. "We have some things for you." they said together.

"Where is that charming wife of yours?" Rupert came from around the corner.

"She had some things to take care off." Lee explained to the old man. "But  
she sends her love."

The woman of Briarcliff filled up him with goodies, while the men inquired  
about his wife and how things were going at the "farm" these days. Lee loved  
talking to these people, hearing their stories of days gone by and finding  
out tidbits on former leaders, hearing about Billy in his early days.

"I really need to get going," he finally said, getting up from the now empty  
plate that he had been given laden with every kind of Christmas cookie  
imaginable. "I didn't mean to interrupt your exercise class."

"Oh we weren't going to exercise today." Lois chirped brightly. "We were  
actually getting ready to watch a movie and since you are here, you can join  
us."

"Oh, no." Lee shook his head. "I don't want to interfere on your recreation  
time and I do have some other errands, today, but thank you for the cookies  
and I know Amanda and the boys will love these Christmas baskets you made for  
them."

"Interfere? Please." Glynis snorted. "You must join us for the movie, Lee.  
It will make it even that more special. Now you come and sit down here  
beside me and Lois you sit down on the other side so he can't get away and Simon,  
would you put in the movie?" she asked one of the other residents.

"Sure will." the white-haired former agent beamed. "It's just not Christmas  
without Jimmy Stewart and that sexy Donna Reed." and he put the VHS tape in  
the recently acquired player.

Lee had an uneasy feeling as he sat down, squeezed between his two friends.  
Wasn't this one of the movies that Amanda had suggested to him right before  
he left? It had to be a coincidence. He had to admit when it was all over  
and done that it wasn't the worst way to spend 131 minutes but he wasn't sure  
how people could watch it over and over like they did. After the movie was  
over, his adoring fans did allow him to go, thanking him for sharing in their  
day and wishing him a Merry Christmas.

He went out to the Corvette feeling quite proud of himself actually. It had  
been good for him to do that, he thought. Glancing at his watch, he saw it  
was almost 2:00, he better get on over to Francine's before she decided to go  
out. At least he wouldn't have to worry about being bombarded with any thing  
there.

Francine's new townhouse looked a little pretentious to him, but he knew  
she was enjoying it. Built in a stately Georgian design it boasted columns and  
cornices and she did look like she belonged there. He pushed the button on  
her security phone and waited for her to allow him to come in. He noticed  
the lobby was decorated with a tree that was so white it was blinding and he  
thought that he preferred the one they had at home with the boy's homemade  
decorations and multi-colored lights. He was becoming so domesticated--and he  
loved every minute of it.

"Lee!" Francine almost came running out of her front door as he stepped  
into her entry from the elevator. I'm so glad you're here!"

"This must be a good recipe." he returned her hug, laughing as she grabbed  
his hand and pulled him into her flat. He wondered what had put her in such a  
good mood, it was highly doubtful she was drunk.

"It is, but that's not what I'm excited about. " She picked up a bag that  
said The Movie Store on it and pulled out a VHS tape, touching it like it was  
pure gold. "Guess what I found today. I still can't believe it. It's amazing  
what technology comes up with." She handed the tape to him, her eyes  
sparkling as though she had just given him a million dollars.

"It's a reindeer," he said, turning the case over to make sure he wasn't  
missing anything.

"Not just a reindeer silly, it's Rudolph. The Red-Nosed Reindeer. And I  
can't believe you can buy it on tape--to watch anytime you want. And it wasn't  
just Rudolph, they also had _The Little Drummer Boy _and _Santa Clause is  
Coming to Town_, but Rudolph is my favorite! I remember the first time I saw it,  
I was 14 and it was just so cute, and Santa was so grumpy and I love it when  
Cornelius says ' bumbles bounce'." she was going on like a girl who had  
just received a date to the homecoming dance with the most popular boy in  
school. "You will watch it with me, won't you?"

"I wouldn't want to intrude on your special time." he told her, " and I have  
to stop by IFF and pick up a few things. But thanks for asking me."

"Oh no Lee Stetson, you are not giving me the brush off on this. Now sit  
down and let's watch Rudolph. I'll even let you have a glass of wine and some  
of the caviar fingers I made for my party tonight."

It was cute he had to admit. And the animation or whatever it was, was not  
half bad. And the songs, the songs were very catchy--not that he would  
admit that to anyone.

As they sat watching it, he looked over at Francine who was singing along  
with it and thought that as well as he knew her, apparently not as well as he  
had thought. If anyone had told him even yesterday that he would be watching  
a children's cartoon with Francine and they both would enjoy it, well he  
just wouldn't have believed them.

"There, wasn't that good?" she asked him and he had to agree.

"Just don't let it get around."

It was almost 4:00 when he left her house, heading for the Agency. He tried  
not to think that both of those movie viewings had been part of a conspiracy.  
Amanda wouldn't do that--or would she? Not his sweet innocent wife.

IFF was practically deserted except for the agents that had to be there.  
The world was in fairly good shape right now and it was nice to think that his  
Christmas Eve they might actually get to stay at home like normal people. He  
was getting used to normal and found he liked it. So why had he balked at  
the Christmas movies? Not that it had done him any good.

He went up to the Q-Bureau looking around for something, anything that he  
could say was the reason he had come here. Frankly, it had a been a good  
excuse to get out of the house and he knew he would be safe from the Christmas  
movies that seemed to follow him everywhere. He sat down at his desk, cleaned  
out all the drawers, dusted everything carefully, threw out the bad milk in  
the frig, fed the fish and watered the plant. It was just about 5:30. He could  
stop at Nedlingers for a drink, stop by Dotty's and be home before 9:00.  
Once he got home he would suggest a game of Monopoly--perfect.

He stopped on the way out to say hello to a couple of the "guys" on duty,  
walking by the office of Ernie the Camera who was sitting in front of all of  
his television screens, completely fixated on something.

"Ernie?" he went up and tapped him on the shoulder. "What are you doing?"

"Oh hello Scarecrow." the young man smiled at him. "Watching my favorite  
Christmas movie of all time."

Lee looked up at the screens but none of them seemed to match but some of  
them contained some fairly interesting looking characters, including one with  
a man all in chains.

"And what would it be?"

"Are you serious? You can't tell. It's _A Christmas Carol." _

"All of them?"

"Yes, they best versions. On the top if the one with Reginald Owen and  
underneath it is the one with Alistair Sim. And in the middle is George C. Scott.  
Next to him is a local production put on by St. Anthony's and the one over  
there is one of the first versions made--1925 I believe.

"How can you watch them all the same time?"

"Not hard at all. Pull up a seat and watch with me for a while. I'll even  
share my popcorn."

He tried to watch them all but found it gave him a headache, so he decided  
to concentrate on the one closest to him, a black and white version. He knew  
all about Scrooge of course but as he sat watching he felt he really hadn't  
paid attention before. He began to draw parallels between Scrooge and Mr.  
Potter from the first movie had seen that day, thinking that Scrooge was much  
nicer. At the end of the movie when the old man repented and started enjoying  
Christmas, Lee was actually happy for him. But no, he refused to think that  
he was kind of like that. He liked Christmas, he did. He just didn't celebrate it much.

So it was closer to 7:15 when he finally left IFF and thought that maybe he  
should stop by Billy and Jeannie's first and then maybe head for that drink.  
The drive to Alexandria wasn't bad and he got there in good time. Jeannie  
came running out when she heard the car pull into the driveway, giving him a  
big hug and asking him if he were hungry.

"I don't want to intrude on your family time." he shook his head." Amanda  
asked me to drop this off." he handed her the well wrapped box.

"You wouldn't be intruding. " she insisted. "And I just made lasagna, hot  
and fresh from the oven."

Billy came out just then, the two friends shaking hands.

"Tell him he has to stay for supper." Jeannie Melrose told her husband. "He  
has to listen to you."

"Yes, come in. There is lots to eat and Kari is here. When was the last  
time you saw her?" he asked about his oldest daughter. "And she has the baby  
with her."

"Kari isn't old enough to have a baby." Lee smiled. "She was just a little  
thing when I first met her."

"Old enough to have a baby and a three year old. Come in. We are getting  
ready to watch the Grinch."

"The Grinch?" Lee had a feeling he had been had.

"Yeah, you know _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_. It's always reminded me of  
you somehow." Billy slapped him on the back. "It's Kari's favorite and I know  
she will enjoy watching it with her Uncle Lee."

He was sure he could get out of it, but Jeannie brought him food, Kari made  
room for him on the couch beside her and before he knew it, he was watching  
the Grinch.

"What do you mean it reminds you of me?" he teased Billy after it was over  
and everyone indulged in Jeanne's cookies. "I have never had green skin or a  
dog named Max."

It was around 9:30 when he left and he was sure it would be safe to go on  
home but then remembered that he was supposed to go to Dotty's. Well this time  
of night he shouldn't be subjected to another movie and if he was really  
lucky she might not even be home, it was a Saturday night for heaven's sake.

She was at home he noticed as he pulled into the driveway of 4247 Maplewood  
Drive and assured him she wasn't planning on going out. "Are you hungry?" she  
asked him. "I just made a pot of chili and my favorite Christmas movie is  
getting ready to come on. Why don't you join me?"

He had learned long ago, it was really hard to say no to his mother in law  
and even though he was full, he ate a huge bowl of chili loaded with Fritos  
and sour crèam, had a cold beer and watched Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney  
dance and fight in Connecticut. But it wasn't as boring as he thought it  
might be and he even got a little worried, NOT that he would admit it when  
Rosemary's character left for New York and he had no idea that she had ever been  
thin and beautiful. And before he knew it the movie was over and he had  
watched it and lived to tell about it.

Gathering the things he was supposed to get from Dotty and giving her what  
he had been given for her, he got in the car and headed for the Beltway and  
home. The radio was glaring some kind of noise they called music and he turned  
to switch it off but then a new flash came on, saying there was a huge  
traffic jam on 395 and they were suggesting alternate routes. He had an even  
better idea and turned the car around, heading for Nedlingers and hopefully a  
glimpse of one game or another.

The bar was quiet and he took his favorite seat, ordering a beer and helping  
himself to the bowl of pretzels. He wasn't hungry at all, but things like  
peanuts and pretzels filled in the cracks very well and made the beer taste  
better.

"Is there a game on, Ned?" he asked the bartender as he took a drink from  
his mug. "Or even highlights?"

"Let's see. " the man picked up the remote and started sorting through the  
channels. A picture of a man and a well-dressed woman came up on the screen  
and then went past, then suddenly came back to it. "I haven't seen this movie  
in years!" the older man got excited. "I can't believe it's on." and he laid  
the remote down and started waiting on other customers. He ended up  
watching the whole thing, actually finding himself interested in the story but  
trying to pretend he didn't care. During the courtroom scene he almost cheered,  
only the couple sitting beside him talking saved him from making a fool of  
himself. He caught the name of it as the credits rolled, _Miracle on 34th Street. _

Finally leaving the bar, he had the road to himself. He had only had the  
two beers and the glass of wine and knew he was safe to drive and he was  
actually enjoying the ride. He turned on the radio for a bit of Christmas  
music, finding himself suddenly in the mood.

The house was dark when he got home and his watch told him it was well after  
midnight. The fire in the den was starting to flicker and he went over to  
add some more wood. The tv was on and he saw that Amanda's newly acquired  
tape of a _Charlie Brown Christmas_ was starting over. She was asleep on the  
couch and he sat down beside her, taking her feet in his lap.

He couldn't believe that he had been gone all day but it had gotten him out of watching the movies she had had planned for him. Or had it? Every movie that he had seen today was stacked up in a pile near the television. Surely it was a coincidence. Wasn't it?


End file.
